hgazette.com, Haverhill, MA


January 17, 2013

Thoughts to ponder while shaving


A day rarely goes by when I’m not receiving address labels through the mail. If I’m getting them, so must you. All they want is a little generosity. On occasion, they’ll also send you a pocket calculator, a calendar, notepads, stickers and a certificate for framing. I got one that read “Man of the Year” and there was no applause rendered.

“Anyone who’s a lush gets that,” my wife reminded me. “About time you stopped sending money through the mail.”

Obnoxious TV commercials

Headlining my list of pet peeves are these inane television commercials that irritate the dickens out of me. One after another, they never stop, causing me to surf other networks, only to find the same thing no matter where I look.

To make matters worse, sometimes the same commercial is repeated within moments of airing. Television commercials wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so often. They either insist you want a product you don’t need — or need a product you don’t want.

I usually take the moment to make a quick run to the refrigerator or bathroom and still return in plenty of time for another look at the weather.

The worse culprit has to be these auto dealerships that offer no letup. How they can expect to entice a customer with such badgering and consistency is beyond me? I see no value in airing five consecutive car promotions, other than turn viewers off.

Many of them wind up giving you a headache, then try to sell you a remedy for it.

Eat, drink & be merry

The diet starts tomorrow. Famous last words. My doctor is always on my case. “Smaller portions,” he tells me. “And think brown. That means wheat bread and wheat pasta, even brown rice.”

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