Sure, we get our invites on a Sunday. My six grandchildren have birthdays. My three children have anniversaries. I have friends all over the place with their weddings and special occasions. Nothing that a wide-screen TV won’t cure.
The conversation from outside the football room remains irrelevant.
“Dinner’s on the table. Come and get it, folks.”
“Not now. The Patriots are on the 5 yard line with a first-and-goal.”
“How long will that take?”
“Well, each team has two timeouts left so it might take 10 minutes. I’ve seen the last three minutes of a football game take up to a half hour with all those commercials.”
“Look, we’re eating at the table now and if you cannot join us, think of an alternative.”
Absolutely right. That’s why they invented TV tables — for those who have trouble leaving a game.
I do not know what the remedy is for all this football mania, except to say that we must stay firm as arduous fans. It’s not a game for weaklings.
Unless you can sit for hours eating peanuts and sipping a brew while growing hoarse with anxiety, you’re not a diehard.
Photographer and writer Tom Vartabedian is retired from the Haverhill Gazette. He contributes this regular column.