Since the news broke in early February about the alleged beating of pop star Rihanna by her boyfriend, R&B singer Chris Brown, the story has dominated media across the country and grabbed the attention of teens here in Haverhill.

Members of Violence Intervention and Prevention at Haverhill High School seized the opportunity to make teen dating violence the topic of their most recent meeting.

More than 50 students attended the March 5 meeting of the high school group whose members are committed to ending violence among their peers and in their community.

Outreach specialist Andy Polanco, a former counselor and advocate at the YWCA for victims of domestic and sexual assault, led a discussion about what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy.

The teens identified qualities they would like to have in a partner and which were the most important. The one quality unanimously agreed upon was respect.

"The most important thing in a mate is respect. When someone cares, the first thing they show is respect. If you have respect, all other qualities will fall into place," Polanco said.

Polanco asked what would happen in a relationship without respect. The group was quick to point out that if there is a lack of respect things could quickly escalate into an abusive relationship.

Reports indicate the 21-year-old Rihanna told police on the night of the incident that Brown, 19, had beaten her before and that the violence was getting worse.

After Brown appeared in court, more details about the beating emerged. According to several published reports, Brown banged Rihanna's head against the door and dashboard of his car and slapped, punched and bit her.

Polanco said the fact pattern in the Rihanna/Chris Brown case is just one of many possible scenarios.

"When you hear 'abuse' you automatically think hitting but it can and is so much more than that. There are other types of abuse such as verbal, emotional and sexual," Polanco told the teens.

Polanco stressed how important it is for them to reach out to someone they believe might be in danger of an abusive relationship.

"If you see someone being treated in an unsafe manner you need to report it. What if it was your sister or mother? Don't be ashamed to care and question people when you want to make sure they're OK. You could save someone's life when you reach out and help," Polanco said.

Teens see violence in their own homes and in their lives every day, said Carol Ireland, an adviser to VIP. That makes it imperative for adults to speak to kids about how violence is not right or tolerable, Ireland said.

"It's so important that we provide the time to educate our children from an early age that violence is not acceptable. We need to do everything we can to help young people find their voice and use their voice," Ireland said.

Dating violence is experienced by many young people, yet not discussed often enough, Ireland, Polanco and the teens agreed.

"This topic should be in the limelight every day, not just because it happened to someone famous. This is something that needs to be addressed every day. Through education and presentation, we can begin to understand exactly what this is and how we can put an end to it," Polanco said.

"We still don't discuss it enough because it's a difficult topic for a lot of people," Ireland said.

VIP meets every Thursday from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m. at Haverhill High School in Room A4. The program offers adult and student mentors to anyone in need of guidance or to answer any questions.

For more information on the VIP program, e-mail Lori Curry at teach_peace@comcast.net or Ireland at cire109@aol.com. For information on gang prevention, teen dating violence or other related matters, e-mail Polanco at p.nyce@hotmail.com.