hgazette.com, Haverhill, MA


April 25, 2012

Poor Tom's Almanac: The best kept secret in town

"Pssst! Can you keep a little secret? I just hit a lottery ticket for $100,000. But don't tell anyone. I don't want the whole world to know my business.''

"You know me. Mum's the word. I can keep a secret. What do you plan to do with the money?''

"Well, get my affairs in order. Take a trip. Help my family. Give something to my grandchildren for college. And if there's anything left over, donate a small chunk to the church for its building fund. These are all important to me.''

"Looks like you have all your priorities in order. If you hit the lottery for a million, the news would spread like wildfire in our community. But $100,000? Who needs to know?''

"Look, I've been around the Armenian community all my life and I know what gossip is like. If you sneeze, people across town will hear it, even with their windows shut.''

"It won't come from me, unless it comes from you."

Cultures are known by the rumors they spread and the gossip that's formed. Far as I'm concerned, a clam is the only thing with a big mouth that doesn't talk about the neighbors. In this case, a little gossip went a long way.

"Listen, you didn't get this from me. But a very good friend of ours just hit the jackpot for 100 G's. Says he's going to help his family and give the rest to the church.''

"Wouldn't be Nick, would it? He's been acting rather strange lately. Treated me to lunch the other day and shelled out $100 toward a raffle ticket — just like that!''

"Not by a long shot. Think of the letters we use to abbreviate television and you'll have it.''

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