hgazette.com, Haverhill, MA


March 21, 2012

Poor Tom's Almanac: Girl Scout cookie never crumbles

Anyone out there want to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies cheap? I'll let them go half price. That's $3 for a box of bliss.

Not that I don't like them, mind you. I can eat thin mints and shortbreads until they come out of my ears.

But like the old woman who lived in a shoe, I have so many, I don't know what to do. Therefore, I'm looking for a few good cookie takers.

It all starts with a granddaughter in Girl Scouts, then extends to your neighbor's kids and further on down the road to my Sunday School students and those of other parents who belong to the same YMCA I frequent.

Just when I've reached the point of overkill, I find these cookies being sold at supermarkets and other places of interest. I don't go looking for them. They find me.

Maybe it's the pitch. How can you refuse a young girl wearing a uniform, trying to make some money for her troop? I cannot. I'm a sucker for a kid selling a cookie or a candy bar.

My granddaughter is such a squeeze, she could sell me a bucket of sand from the beach.

"Papa, I'm selling Girl Scout cookies. How many boxes can I put you down for?"

We don't discuss price. It's more a numbers game.

"If I sell 100 boxes, I win a prize," she informs me.

"Okay, let's start with five and go from there."

Five minutes later, she's hitting my wife. This woman was a den mom in her day and knows the score when it comes to Girl Scouts. Our daughter was the ultimate cookie girl. Back then, you would go canvassing through your neighborhood unaccompanied. Today, that's undesirable.

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